Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Self Love and Confidence Building ♥

Hello cuties! Valentine's Day is on the rise and love is deffinately in the air~ I really wanted to make a blog post about loving the most important person, yourself! In this post I will also include tips on how to build your confidence. As someone who has struggled with their self esteem and confidence their entire life, I feel like I can offer some information that might be helpful and inspiring to others. However, I am in no way a professional and these methods are things that I have tried that have helped my own personal self esteem and confidence.

Praise Yourself

When it comes to self love and self acceptance, one of the most imporant things is to praise yourself. What I like to do is look at myself in the mirror and say the things that I like about myself to help build my confidence. Note that you do not only have to praise physical attributes. You can say things like, "I'm a very compassionate person.", "I always try my best in whatever I try to do.", "I'm considerate of other's feelings." etc. This excersise could be difficult if you do not like anything about yourself. [believe me, I know the feeling...] If you can't think of anything you like about yourself, look in the mirror and say what you would like to learn to love. Loving things about yourself isn't easy, I understand! But, you can make goals for yourself. Write them down in a notebook or journal. Please note that loving yourself takes time and patcient. You don't just wake up one morning and love yourself. It's something that you have to work on every single day, build it up, so that it becomes a regular way of thinking. Positive thoughts = positive feelings.

Stay Positive

It's very imporant to stay positive in any situation but, especially when it comes to self love and self acceptance. If you're negative all of the time, you aren't going to feel very good. If you don't feel good, you aren't going to feel like being kind to yourself. A lot of the time, when you feel bad, it helps to change your way of thinking. If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, you are going to have a negative point of veiw when it comes to everything! If you catch yourself thinking/saying something negative, catch yourself and turn it into something positive. For example, you may be frusterated and say something like, "I'm not good at art! There are so many artists that are better and more talented than I am!" instead say, "If I keep practicing I will become as good as the artists I idolize. I won't give up!". That kind of positive thinking can help you motivate yourself in a positive way. Once you feel motivated it is easier to learn self acceptance. Start small, and build from that.

Treat Yo' Self

Self care is VERY important when it comes to learning to love and accept yourself. A lot of the time, we are so concerned with helping and caring for others that we forget to take care of ourselves. In my experience, it's really helpful to have self care days. Pick a day, any day, and dedicate that day to self care. I've heard people call their self care days, "Self Care Sundays" which can help you remember the day. Self care can include many things. Here are some examples of self care;

Take a hot shower or bath with fragrant soaps/bath bombs

Drink some of your favorite tea

Dress up really nice for yourself

Relax and watch your favorite film

Eat your favorite food

Make sure you get enough sleep

Don't forget to take your meds

Take a nap if you feel tired

Drink lots of water!

Read a book and get lost in the pages

Surround yourself with positive, and supportive people

Treat yourself to something on your wishlist [yes, you do deserve it.]

I could literally go on forever but, you get the point. If it makes you happy then it's a form of self care. If it makes you feel healthier, it is a form of self care. You can only really help others after you have helped yourself. It's nice to take care of others but, please remember that YOU are the most important person in your life! 

Don't Compare

In my personal experience, the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to someone else [in a negative way]. Saying things like, "I wish I was more ______ like ______.", "Why can't I be ______ like ______?" etc. will only make you feel inadequate. Just because someone is attractive, smart, talented, etc. that doesn't mean that you aren't any of those things. This is where positive affirmations come in handy. Replace those negative comparisons with, "I am". For example, "I AM intellegent, attractive, empathetic, open minded, rescourceful, fashionable--" etc. Only you can define who you are. If you want to change your appearance or character to become more confident, do you! If you want to eat healthier so that you can lose weight in a healthy way, go you! If you want to change your hair, go for it! If you want to change your style, that's awesome! But, don't do it to be like someone else. You are the only you there is so be the best you that you can be! I believe in you!

Stay Cute

For me, what really helped build my confidence was looking the way that I wanted regardless of what other people thought. The truth is, people are going to judge you no matter what so you might as well do what makes you feel the most happy and confident with yourself. No joke, being yourself can be really scary at first because you never really know how people are going to react. But, I promise that once you do you will feel so much happier and confident. Dress the way you want and as long as it makes you happy, what other people think of you do not matter. If you want to wear wigs, go for it! If you want to wear a fashion or style that isn't widely accepted or worn in your area, you should! I promise you, it will change your life and you will become a lot happier in the long run! Changing your look will take time. Start small, and build up. If you want to enhance your usual/natural style/features that's cool, too! What's imporant is that you are doing whatever is making you feel the most confident.

I have been working on learning to love and accept myself for the past year and a half and I've become a lot more comfortable and confident in myself. However, I still have bad days where I feel icky. It's a work in progress and that's okay. Like I said before, it's something that you have to work at every single day and build up overtime. It can be very frusterating at times but, don't give up! As long as you keep trying, you will get to where you want to be. I believe in you!

Let me know what you thought of this post and if it was helpful to you! [I hope so.] Also, if you have something you like about yourself, let me know down below in the comments. I'd love to see the positive aspects that you see in yourself. 

Much love,

 Angel  a.k.a Pastel Cutie  image


  1. Awe Angel I love this post so much~ I think it is perfect, especially since Valentines is coming up, a lot of people are really hard on themselves during this time! I know I definitely need to take some of these tips more seriously myself ; u ; ♥


  2. You are very sweet and its amazing that you made such a post! (:

  3. I really enjoyed this post and bookmarked it so I can read it again whenever I need some encouragement. However, I have one question... what about if you love yourself overall, but still doubt in yourself because other people don't? (sorry if I worded that confusingly) Basically, I like a lot of things about myself and take some of your suggestions like treating myself, focusing on my favorite traits, trying to stay positive, etc. but I feel like I can never like myself completely because unfortunately I'm at a point where all my friends have left me and I can't find the right people anymore. Thanks for any advice.

    1. Not everyone is going to love you and some people will not stand by your side even if you are true to yourself. It's heartbreaking to know this but, you will find people who love you and accept you for you and will stay by your side. Anyone who doesn't isn't worth your self-doubt. <3

  4. These are my favorite types of posts <3

  5. This post is truly beautiful and I just have to emphasize what a great and lovable person you are for sharing these tips with us.

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